Friday, February 9, 2024

Dream journal: The time god

The time god

In a nightmare where a pest kept chasing amd trhing to do somethinf bad

I lucid dreamed and i started to move faster than time to escape the pest the demon

And it wasnt enough to stop him

So i moved so fast that i wqs not only ahead of him but i went past time

And reality itself

And then the dream turned into black panther meets the flash

Where sterling k brown was lile my father for parts of it

It was like a movie as if that had been playkng the whole time but it hadnt it was like simultaneous but my brain just understood it

And now i was going faster than time

Trying to change it 

And also i was the father

Teaching my son michael b jordan

Why he couldnt change time

And the dangers of messing with time

At one point i called it the tutorial

I was explaining it to him

Amd said that i didnt have time to give him the tutorial before the date

It was prom

And we were going to be late to pick up his date

And my son was forcing me to show him how messing with time was dangerous

So i wqs showing him

How there were simultaneous realities

Where in a i did this in reality b just below it i dod thiand in reality c i did that

I guess its like shroedingers cat

And the time god exists beyond time

It is the observer

The time god was the father

Who had done it so many times and lived thousands and millions of eons of time

Trying to stop the demon

Trying to also simultaneously be the time god

Each time he tries to stop the demon

He lives that lifetime of reality

Making the choice a

Visualizing the scenario

But because he is becoming the time god

He also lives time b and time c

And all options into infinity

Until he realizes the futility of changing time and becomes the time god

That changing reality is also futile because he must become the observer

The choice was the thing he did.

it was in that moment

By stepping outside of time

He made the reality not possible

He couldnt beat the demon

And in this dream where i was myself but also all the characters and the origial people in my dream,

I was on the date for prom and stopping the demon and lecturing my son and listening to my dad

Imand the oserver outside of time watching reality unfold

Moving faster than time

And i could see the hyper dimensionality of it

That the other realities dont actually exist 

But also do at the same time

Shroedingers dead cats

And its like all these blurry flashes shot in hyper lapse

The reality is the choice where one stops seeing the future and one loves in that moment not knowing the outcomes

Not being the god for a while but being the son. 

And then stepping out is seeing the universe in phase


Being an artist is having something to say

Being the son in the moment

Being god the father is not making the choice but rmeoving one self

And not having peespective

Losing ones identity for objectiveness


In thw dream i started to see all these houses sharing a pool in the middle of their yard

Like friends who loved together and bought the neighborhood and shared rhe pool


And i started to become the observer

And then i was the son syanding on the steps taking the prom photo

And then i was moving through time faster than time trying to stop the demon

And then realizing the demon was me

And the knowledge of this hyper reality started to wake me up and then i had to rewind the dream to remember in my long term memeory

But i wanted to hold onto tbis thought.

Seeing they hypersphere from the objective observer position

The 4 hyperlapses

How do they exist simultaneously

And how does one make a choice or predict which one is which and become the son again the living cat

Its the intersection 

Where the possibikities merge

And time moves forwards snd backwards

At the same time

Thats the moment with the most gravity

Where the lanes merge

Its the fusion point

That moves along

It is the playhrad of the timeline

The playhead is the sonand the editor is the father

The son is the father

Who hasnt lived all fhe timelines yet

He doesnt have the wisdom of all the choices and all the lifetimes

Ans thats soer kf what gravity is

Just this overlapping moving playhead loint of intersection and everything causes hyper possibilities.

Matter itself is just the son

Existence is the hyper possibilities

Life has rhe most hyper possibilities

Because it is unlimited and growing beyond infinity

Because each living individual is an entire universe of possibilities

Some of them are too far from the center to even observe them

Even tho they technically exist

Gravity is these two hyperspheres orbiting each other

Binary stars collapsing forever

88

Gravity is love

And cache is breaking orbit


All of this takes place within the context of pondering my own existence and choices and choosing to make art and be an artist or being lonely and objective


Does my love for cache have enough gravity for me to chase her and bend that reakity into the nexus point where i exist

Or does katherine flying by, pull me into another orbital path

Does she have enough gravity to pull me put of that universe

Or is it eva and my responsibility to mske her video?

The artist who loves in the moment with no objective perspective and nothing to say

Just a happy particle spinning

Pure chaos

Which orbit


Once years ago i was a child

And i couldnt decide between taking karate or playing soccer

And i was crying so much

That my parents and sister were laughing at me.

To this day they repeat "im so confised"

My sister does the sadistic immitation of it the best and so frequent that i can hear the echoes of her saying it...

"Im soooo confused".


Shit a diffusion model is all the slices of the universe

And the art it draws out of the chaos

Is the intersection point of all realities


Gravity is just the largest hypersphere

The most intersection point of all orbits

In n-dimensional space


All these objects

Actually every single object

From the smallest quark or quantum particle

To the largest mega black hole where time stops

All matter is just the intersection of waves

Thats what mass is

A 3 dimensional diffusion model

Of hyperspheres vibrating in space

Vibrating and orbiting each other

Their orbit trajectories in multiple realities

The intersection point with the most gravity

Is what we observe as the particle

Its hyperdimensional potentiality

Its radiance field the observable distance where waves of gravitation or potential effect where the further away from center-section point particle is where gravity grows weaker

Where particles lose their orbit

Of esch other

Where they stop to influence each others potential positions in reality

The particle or molecule or collection of particles

Is really just the shape a particle takes when combined with orher gravity radiance fields

It becomes their most likely state where orbit schieves infinite equilibriuthey remain in orbit of each other

The hydrogen exists

Water is hydrogen and 2 oxygen

It is the most physically in 3 dimensionally unstable or morphous because the orbital radiance fields are so maleable

Theres too many options on their bumble

The oxygen will just just share orbits and spon off with any ither hydrogen atoms

Ots both stable and unstable

In that individually h20 is stable

The radiance fields have equilibirum

They stay overalpping in constant hyper motion overlapping with eschother in constant orbit

Its also like harmonious

Undisturbed they will exist into infinity

They will not break orbit

But collectively they are so harmonious that they dance with all the other h20 molecules

I guess until they get cold

Under 32 degrees

They become solid in physical reality

They become too densely packed

Their radiance fields make them fit neatly together like a 3 sided hineycomb shape of bubble wrap

Cold temperature condesnses the radiance fileds the orbital trajectories get tighter

They stay in conversation

Just vibrating away

The vibration becomes like a tone

A more even sin wave form

Ice is h20 humming at a very short frequency

The more ice the more volume of gravity

When ice heats up

The volume stays the same

But the frequency of the sound gets lower

Because heating it up makes the radiance fields wider and the frequency longer esve length

Or wait is it like the frequency stays the same. Its still water. The molecule is in harmony still its just more excited at higher temperature.

So gravity is like the radius of the molecule but also the volume or no theres a difference between mass volume and sound or vibration volume

2 different radiuses radii

Losing it becoming unstable fuzzy

The conversation becomes unfocused

The particles wanna socialize with other molecules again

Raising the temperature makes them less stable and more likely to rome around

They get adhd

They become more active

But the gravity stays the same cus the amount of mass and molecules doesnt change. They just become water

And they socialize because they move freely


I just sound so insane right now

This state of thinking is adhd

In constant motion

With overlapping radiance fields of attention


A metal in particular metal that conducts heat 

It does so because the structure has symmetry

How foes symmetry result in heat conductivity

Heat and spund both travel by vibrating physical reality they are both tone in sound

Heat is like pitch

Higher pitch not higher volume

Heat and light both travel through physical space because they shake the hyper sphere radiance fields with vibrations

And it doesnt change the gravity fields themselves

The orbits dont change

These are all different types of fields

Its basically field science or radiuses or cicrles or spheres

Copper has symmetry in a way that water doesnt

They both can be liquids thats different

Temperature and physical liquid solid state is different from molecular state

Gas evaporates

The molecules stay together but they lose orbit with each other

Their molecular cohesion is like a sifferent kind of reality than 3 dimensional space

Its just a way to view their molecular bonds or stomic fields

Oh shit its like atomic fields are a super small scale

Literally the atomic scale of radiance fields

Where like grabity is like gigantic scale fields

Gravity is like the total of all in space

And atomic scale is like zoomed all the way in to where atoms are like sooo far apart from each other but their quantum particle fields are overlapping

The way they overlap in byper dimensional soace their hyperspherical shapes is what determines their intersctions

Like do they bond and talk vibrate forever or do they remain in motion because of the field intersctiona nd ehst kind of motion and what shape are their hyperdimensional orbits


Of anyone is curious why i am so lonely

Its because these are the conversations i have with myself

Constantly

Maybe not quite as vivid and overallping of subject matter as this subject is very adhd overlapping hyper dimensional in itself

Im like seeing things from all these theories coming together and making sense

My rem sleep flow state was very intersectional this morning

But its clear

I know this si not crazy cuz it makes sense 

I can see it all in my mind

Could explain it sgain

Repeat the exercise or thought experiment

Move to any part of the equationand fill in the explanation

Writing it in english words

Is just me stopping to write on the chalkboard what my mind can see

Clear as day


And just like my gravity field particles

My humans in the expansive hyper reality where the son is living each lifetime,

While the father who has lived it all watches and tells the son that this is your tutorial

Where fuxxy radiance fields become intersectional 3 dimensional reality in quantum hyper dimensional spacetime and the god is the observer

And i am just a lonely man talking to himself necause everyone else did not find this conversation interesting

And inwas left alone with my own thoughts and grief long enough that it started to come together

All these separate conversations that i had with dfiferent people

All these projects i was working on

All these thiught functions and separate equations started to overlap

And in my sleep my brain started putting them together

Right before my birthday

The midway pount of my life

The intersectional moment between moving forward and looking backward in time

With equidistant radiance fields

In my loneliness

Trying to decide

This time not between doing karate and playing soccer where my sister ridiculed me.

I thought about love and what is important

And being honest

And how hard it is for me to be present and in the moment and comfotable enough, safe enough to really talk to another human being

In my grief

In my loss

In my love

My love for bentley

My grief at his loss

In my connection to cache

And my grief at her loss

And my sadness about living in a quite lonely room

The pain and suffering of reality gave me clarity.

Sparked by the moment of honesty between me and katherine

Where i opened up and let myself form a connection with another human being

And i cried as cache drifted away and i grew dark from her light

And in this moment of suffering and self loathing

I found clarity

About myself

And my place in the universe

Why i have been alone.

Why that suffering was necessary

And i stopped hating myself

And became okay

But also i feel so sad

And sorry

And ashamed

But i accept it

And can be honest

In this moment

Its okay

Someone loved me enough to talk to me

For real

And someone will love ne enough to talk to me again

And its okay to be alone

Because my mind is interesting enough to have these thoughts

Even if nobody else is listening

Because even if people dont understand what i am saying

Even if they dont like what i said

Its okay

This stray

Lonely dog

This lonely stray  animal

Will calm down enough

And trust that its okay

To have an opinion

And a though that is different

I accept that people wont like me

Or my thoughts

I can be honest

And naked mand uncomfortable

and share my pain

And that is being an artist

Accepting

And saying it anyway


Join the movemint

-mm


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