So,
Everyone knows that Valentine's day is approaching. A single footstep into any Supermarket or commercial retail shop is all you need to be so rudely reminded.
Dear St. Valentine,
I'm genuinely touched by the way you wrote a Love letter to your beloved in prison before being put to death. Truly Romantic of you. Dare I say even pimp, that is if you had been alive to reap the panty dropping benefits of your tragic gesture. However, I am a lil 'peeved' that you come around every February 14th and flaunt your romantic deed. Dude, it's been like 4 or 5 centuries. We get it asshole! You were in love. Stop reminding those of us that are single that we're not. And stop pressuring those of us that are in a relationship, to define the relationship that we are in, with commercially mandated trinkets and chocolates. Get out of my face with your cellophane balloons and your extravagant candies! Get your Jewelry and designer items out of my face! I don't care if I save 15% on a Credit card! I just don't want your 'You' Day Shit!
Don't get me wrong. I love saying I love you to the people that I love lovingly. I just hate having to do it on a specific day and with defined parameters such as chocolates and flowers. I like to send flowers to girls. I hate sending flowers to girls on 'Send Flowers Day' because the act of expression loses all meaning. Sending flowers on any other day is sweet. Sending them on your day is expected. Plus I feel like I have to meet the status quo of Flowers plus chocolates plus dinner so as not to say, 'I don't like you as much as you wish'. If I'm lucky enough to be head over heals write you a Valentine from death row love, the gesture is diminished by the standardization of the day. Plus because everyone is expressing their love on the same day, everyone compares the actions of their significant others. What did you get? Where did you go? What did you do? I guess it's not technically your fault. The industry supported by this holiday is to blame for turning the awesome act of expressing love into a rat race of commercial competition. Maybe I'm jaded because I went all out one year (flower petals, champaign, presents, Sinatra, home made chocolate covered strawberries, flowers, surprises, saranades, etc) only to have the girl be disappointed by the Restaurant Reservation. And maybe what was once a genuinely cool day of celebrating love, has been bastardized into a day of commercial spending.
So Thank You Valentines day Machine! Thank you for intrusively pressuring me to define my relationships. Because I really love choosing between disappointing people and telling lies about my feelings. If I have appropriate feelings for Valentines day, any action I take to express them is expected.
Or maybe I should just stop being bitter.
Regardless, Thanks for reminding me St. Valentine.
You and your roman Greek God Friend need to get out of my face, or I'll kick cupid in the dome!
Happy SinglePeopleSuckDay Everyone
Sincerely,
-MM
Currently watching:
Breathless
Release date: 20 November, 2001
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